Family Guy's Road Trip: Danny Phantom
by Blackspiderman
Summary: FGRT Episode 4. The Griffins arrive in Amity Park, home of Danny Phantom. Danny is framed for a bank robbery, Jack tries to get Danielle adopted, and Peter has to serve community serive but ends up making things worse. Full summary inside. Rated T.
1. And What's the Deal with Ghosts

**Family Guy's Extra Special Road Trip (Season 1)**

**Episode 4: Road to Ghost Hell**

**Chapter 1: And What's the Deal with Ghosts?**

**Episode Summary: Danny Phantom and his family think that his ghostly enemies, such as Skulker, or Ember, are tough to handle. But...they haven't met the Griffins yet. When they meet up, they all take an instant liking to each other, and Danny sees this as a much needed break from his constant ghost fighting. But, when Peter accidentally destroys one of Danny's statues (from _Phantom Planet_), he vows to do whatever it takes to fix without breaking anything else. But whatever Peter says he'll do, he always does the opposite. Meanwhile, when Elliot, Sam's former lover, comes back into town, he tries to get Danny framed for a bank robbery and to convince Sam that Danny's no good for her. So now, it's up to him, with Brian's help, to clear his name. And, Jack races around town desperately trying to get adoption papers for Danielle finalized. But nowhere he goes seems to want to help him out.**

**A/N: Remember my original Family Guy/Danny Phantom crossover fanfiction, "Road to Ghost Hell"? Yes, well, I'm terribly sorry I haven't updated that one. But that's only because I'm about to rewrite it right now, as this: Episode 4 of my "Family Guy's Road Trip" fanfiction series. So enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: _Danny Phantom _and_ Family Guy _do not belong to me. They belong to _Butch Hartman _and _Seth MacFarlane_ respectively.**

**TV-PG-DL (Rated T on the site)**

* * *

"Dialogue"

_'Thoughts', __Long-distance conversations (such as on the phone), song lyrics, or cutaways/flashbacks_

**_"Voice-overs, either from a flashback in present time, or from present time during a Flashback."_**

* * *

_It seems today that all you see  
Is violence in movies and sex on TV_

_But where are those good old fashioned values  
On which we used to rely!_

_Lucky there's a Family Guy!  
Lucky there's a man who positively can do  
All the things that make us_

_Laugh and Cry_

_He's...A...Fam...ily...Guy...!_

* * *

Our story today begins with the Griffin family once again on the road, continuing their year-long road trip to explore the world and have awesome adventures! (Remember, an awesome adveture to Peter is a trip to the mental clinic for someone else.)

Now, everyone in the Griffin family was still very angry at Peter for his horrifying and terrifying actions in South Park (Read my last two fanfictions). Although Peter wasn't arrested as originally planned, he did have to pay a fine of $500,000. Though in a surprising twist, Carter Pewterschmidt, his father-in-law, offered to pay Peter's fine for him. Although as a price, Peter had to swim in a fish tank filled with a monkey's feces, and then drink some of it. But that was then and this is now. Anyway,

They drove up to another seemingly quiet town. It was called "Amity Park" and all was quiet for the moment. But, with Peter around, nothing was ever quiet.

"Oh boy, oh boy, this is great! I love road trips! Another day, another town-"

"Another patient checks into a mental hospital." Brian joked, getting laughs from everyone except Peter. Peter simply glared at Brian and then went up to punch him in the face.

"Oh that's real funny. Laugh it up."

"Well, Peter, let's face it. The last place we were at, you almost put a 9 year old boy in the morgue."

"So? What the hell does a morgue have to do with anything? Jeez, you people are worse at conversations than I am at building things."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Peter hammering away at a piece of board. However, he hammers so quickly he accidentally hits his own thumb. He lets out a scream and starts sucking his thumb._

_(End Cutaway)_

Peter parked the car in the driveway of their new home, which was just across from the home known as "Fentonworks", the home of our other set of main characters today. The family all got out of their car, and unloaded their things.

Once they got settled into their home, unpacked their stuff, and broke the new home in, Peter and Lois went outside to see the house across from them.

"Hey Lois, check it out." Peter pointed out the sign. "Fentonworks. Huh, if I didn't know any better, I'd say this was a Jew factory. But then again, I don't see any Oompa Loompas or chocolate or Amanda Bynes, so--"

"Peter, I think you're thinking of "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory"."

"Lois, you're delusional. Everyone knows the Muslims don't believe in chocolate."

Frustrated and angry, Lois gave up, not wanting to start a fight with Peter. The two of them crossed the street and started heading towards "Fentonworks". Unfortunately, they had no idea of who in God's name lived across from them.

The Fenton Family: A family full of ghost hunting freaks. Literally. The two parents, Maddie and Jack Fenton, are "experts" in ghost hunting and ghost hunting accessories. The reason you see quotes around the word expert is because...well, let's face it, everything they have done...with few exceptions...have sucked. They really have.

The oldest daughter, Jazz, is a very intelligent young girl who is preparing to go to college. She had spent most of her time studying, but since she found out a dark secret about her brother, Danny, she spent her spare time helping her family fight ghosts.

And finally, the young boy, Danny. He is a 15-year old boy who, thanks to a freak accident caused by a invention of his parents', he became half-dead, thus becoming half-ghost. Now with new ghost abilities, he spent his spare time with his two best friends, Tucker Foley, a techno-geek (nerd), and Sam Manson, a goth girl who recently became his girlfriend, fighting ghosts and keeping Amity Park safe. Originally, nobody but those two and Jazz knew about his secret. But, after he saved the planet from certain doom, he decided to reveal his secret and allow the rest of the world to know who he was. And ever since then, he's been accepted by everyone, and now he, and his family, including his "soon to be adopted" sister, Danielle** (Kindred Spirits, D-Stabilized)** live in peace in Amity Park. Or at least, as peaceful as it gets.

**A/N: I'm still keeping the idea of Danielle being adopted from the original "Road to Ghost Hell" story. But remember, I never finished it, so that leaves this story open for new plotlines.**

Peter and Lois went up to the door, and rang the doorbell once. "Boy, if there's one thing I hate about new neighbors, is if they're Morman. I hate Morman people! They're so retarded!"

"Peter, that's not nice. You shouldn't make fun of the Mormans like that. What if these people reallly are Morman?"

"Well I have the solution." Peter replied pulling out a vodka bottle from his back pocket. "Vodka."

"Peter, not everything can be solved with vodka. Remember the time you tried to help Joe raise money for his daughter's medical bills and you sold lemonade where your secret ingredient was "Vodka"?"

"Uh, I will have you know we sold drinks to 283 children that day."

"Yes, and the next day you got complaints from all 283 children's parents."

"And your point is?" As Peter reached out to ring the doorbell without actually looking, as if on cue, a green net swooped down from above the door and caught Peter, and then a few seconds later, as if on cue again, eletricuted Peter hard. For several seconds, the electricution went on, and Peter was left with scars and burns on all parts of his body. He wasn't badly injured; though it did take his blood-wrenched screams for the Fenton family to know that someone was out there.

"Quick, Maddie! Get the ghost bazooka!" The fat father, Jack yelled to his family as he rushed outside and prepared a giant bazooka to fire at him. He didn't even notice that it was a fat guy in the net. "Ghost! Ghost!"

"What the hell, man!? Is this how you treat your daughters!?"

"My _daughters_? But I only have one daughter."

"No way, your daughters' names are Stephanie, DJ, and Michelle. Aren't you Bob Saget from _Full House_?"

"No."

"Oh." Jack, Peter, and Lois all stood there silently for a short moment before the rest of Jack's family came out from his house and the rest of Peter's family came out of their house. Brian, Chris, Meg, and Stewie took a quick look at Peter before turning their attention to the family that was standing before them.

"Um, I'm gonna take a wild guess here. Hunters, right?" Brian asked, referencing the bazooka in Jack's hand.

"Yep. Ghost hunters. We're the Fenton's. WOrld's best ghost hunters."

"Um, ghosts do not exist, buddy." Lois said, having absolutely no idea who these people are.

"Yes they do. We spend most of our time hunting them down, and then draining them of their ecto-energy."

"Uh, no they don't, sister. I don't know where you've been this whole time, but they haven't existed since the beginning of tiem, and I'm sure as hell they don't exist now." Lois snorted, and then laughed smugly, not knowing what she was getting into.

"Yeah they do! Even I've been helping my parents and my brother hunt ghosts!" Jazz defended, but Lois wouldn't hear it.

"Oh no, not you too! They brainwashed you into thinking they're real too when they're not!"

"But-"

"tell you what!" Lois pulled out a vile of poison and held it up so everyone could see. "I'll drink this entire vile of poison right here...right now. Just show me that these "ghosts" that you speak of actually exist!" During Lois's ranting, the two little Fenton kids, Danny Fenton, age 14, and Danielle, age 12, floated down in their ghost form behind Lois, having heard everything that she had said. They were now very pissed off.

"Why don't you look behind you!?" Danny shouted, which took Lois aback slightly. She thought she was hearing things. But when she heard very angry breathing coming from behind her, she decided to turn around and get a look at it. She saw the two ghost children floating behind her, and instead of screaming for her life, she instead took the vile and drank it all up, and then slowly proceeded home, scarred for life. Chris and Peter both exchanged confused looks at each other.

"Dad, I'm scared. Why are the ghosts of Renee Williams and Ozzy Osbourne here to haunt us?"

"I don't know, son. But aren't you supposed to be really fat?" Peter asked Danielle, very clueless as to who they are. Danielle took offense to this.

"Yeah, and where's your heroin needles, Mr. Osbourne?" Chris asked Danny, also very clueless.

"Danny, I'm scared. Who are these people?" Danielle asked Danny.

"I don't know. Are you people new to the town?"

"Why yes we are. How nice of you to notice." Peter sheepishgly grinned, then turned his focus to whisper to Chris, only he instead leaned towards Danny. "I think these people might be rednecks. If they start spitting tobacco and other nasty crap, we'll make a run for it."

"Dude, you just whispered that to me."

"Shh, shh. Here he is! Wow, you look so good in those black jeans!"

"What?" Danny and Danielle were getting more confused and annoyed with everything Peter was saying. So they floated to the ground and reverted to their normal human form. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh I"m so sorry. I get really excited when I met a celebrity. You _are_ Tim McGraw, right?"

"No."

"And this little twerp right next to you isn't Rihanna?"

"Uh, no!"

"Oh." Peter quickly turned to Jack Fenton. "What the hell is going on around here!?" He shouted, hoping for some answers, as was everyone else.

"I understand this is kind of weird to hear, but it's the truth. You see-"

* * *

**_We're sorry. Due to technical issues and circumstances beyond our control, the portion of the script where Jack Fenton explains Danny's story to the Griffin family was lost on the way overseas. Luckily, the Asian animators did manage to fix a scene long enough to fit into the timeslot. So now, ladies and gentlemen, please enjoy this portion of Peter Griffin crashing the stock market._**

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to a western farm, where a hill-billy plane pilot and Peter Griffin are in an argument about something._

_"Look, explain to me exactly what I did wrong."_

_"You crashed the stock market, that's what you did! Because of you, stocks plunged! Home morgage rates went down, oil levels are at a 200-year low, and I haven't seen this many people homeless since the Civil War!" The farmer angrily pointed to a plane that ha dcrashed into a homeless shelter. Ironically, the plane was named "The Stock Market", and on board were signs that detailed home porgage prices, oil spilled all over the plane and the people, and by "homeless people" the farmer was actually referring to the people that were in the homeless shelter._

_"So? What's the problem?"_

_"You idiot! Because of you, our eceonomy is as good as dead!"_

_"Wait, you have a money system named after Dick Van Dyke?"_

_"Ugh!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

**_Thank you. We now return you to your scheduled programming._**

* * *

Ironically enough, instead of telling the story of Danny Phantom while the cutaway was in play, Jack and the family instead watched it with the Griffins, which is why they were a bit irritable when it was finished.

"Um, hello?" Peter called out to Jack, waving a hand in front of him which did get his attention.

"Uh, what?"

"The story? You were gonna tell us why your two kids have risen from the dead as Dick Cheney and that Farrah chick?"

"Huh? Oh yes, the origin of Danny Phantom. Right, fo course. Anyway, it all started when Maddie and I--"

"Boring! I'm gonna go explore the town." And with that, Peter calmly turned around and started walking into town, ignoring everyone else's pleas. Stewie couldn't help but groan and cup his forehead. Danny and Danielle took notice to this.

"What's wrong, kid?"

"He does this everytime, I swear it. We move into a new town, he gets excited, goes in, and by the end of the first day, he breaks something. One of us is going to end up dead by the end of this episode, and I'm not talking about that bastard in the orange parka! 'Cause, you know, he dies all the time."

"OH come on, kid. You don't know that."

"Yes. I do." Stewie grinded his teeth. "It happens every. Single. Time. The only time he didn't cause trouble was...well, actually, I can't really recall a time hwre he didn't cause trouble. So, by estimates given on the size of this town, we'll be seeing either policemen, firemen, or paramedics in...."

All of a sudden, to everyone except Stewie's shock, paramedics, firemen, _and_ policemen started charging down the road towards where Peter took off to.

"...zero seconds."

Meanwhile, deep into Amity Park, near City Hall, it turns out that Peter had just broken one of Danny's hero statues while he was trying to...well, he was either trying to build a moat around it or some kind of wall. Either way, both it and the statue broke. Peter wasn't being arrested, but he was being questioned on the spot. The family ran up to Peter to see what the trouble was.

"Look, nothig's wrong, Lois. I-I just read a sign that said this statue was very important to the city. It's supposed to remember those who were lost in some sort of tragedy, you know, like Spetember 11th. So I decided 'Hey, if this statue's important, why the hell is it just laying around like this? Why isn't it protected?' So I decided to build a wall of protection around it so it can forever be preserved. But while I was doing so, I saw the cutest little butterfly passing by so I admire it and then I accidentally droped my hammer on the wall so it broke and the toppling blocks caused the statue to break as well..." He took in a deep gasp for air. "..And here we are now."

Brian stared at Peter for a brief moment as if he was staring into space. "Peter you were only gone 10 seconds. How the hell could all of that possibly have happened?"

"Sir, we're going to need you to come with us to the police station for some questioning." The police officer said, as he escorted Peter to the police car without handcuffing him.

"Oh come on! How the hell am I in trouble! Jeez, you people are eve more annoying than the Jonas Brothers were at that Comic Con I went to for them?"

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to a Jonas Brothers convention where the Jonas Brothers are having a Q & A session with the audience members, which Peter was one of. He raised his hand and was called on by Kevin Jonas._

_"Uh, yes. I have a question for the guy on the left," Which was Nick Jonas. "W-Where's your cigarette and heroin needle?"_

_"I'm sorry?"_

_"I mean, I know you're trying to get clean and all that, but I mean, you can't just stop altogether. That'll mess you up, dude. You should still at least take one needle everyday._

_"What? Wha--oh for the love of--For the last time, we are not Ozzy Osbourne! Kevin Jonas is not Ozzy Osbourne! Joe Jonas is not Ozzy Osbourne. I am not Ozzy Osbourne."_

_"Yes you are."_

_"No they're." The real Ozzy Osbourne said, standing up from the audience. "I am. And you know nothing of my work."_

_"Aren't you Keith Ledger from Terminator Salvation?"_

_"D'oh!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

**End of Chapter 1!**

**Well there you go. You got the basic idea. It should be a good story. ANd Iit may be about 5-6 chapters depending on how much story I want to put into a single chapter. I've having a lot of exams coming up in school, and home-life's stressful as always, so updates may not be as quick.**

**Next Time: Danny's being framed! For a crime he didn't commit! Plus, Jack races around town trying to get Danielle officially adopted, but no one wants to help him.**

**Expected Update: June 18th.**


	2. Don't Be Pissin' Me Off

**Family Guy's Extra Special Road Trip (Season 1)**

**Episode 4: Road to Ghost Hell**

**Chapter 2: Don't be Pissin' Me Off!**

**Disclaimer: _Danny Phantom _and_ Family Guy _do not belong to me. They belong to _Butch Hartman _and _Seth MacFarlane_ respectively.**

**TV-PG-DL (Rated T on the site)**

* * *

"Dialogue"

_'Thoughts', __Long-distance conversations (such as on the phone), song lyrics, or cutaways/flashbacks_

**_"Voice-overs, either from a flashback in present time, or from present time during a Flashback."_**

* * *

Over on the other side of town, at a courthouse, Jack had taken their soon to be daughter, Danielle, to be legally adopted. He had the papers ready, and the happy-go-lucky attitude already happening. All he needed now was someone that could help him.

He and Danielle approached a window labeled "Adoption". "Uh, yes, excuse me. I'm here to have this child legally adopted." He said cheerfully to the chick in the window, who was anything but happy.

"Can I see your papers?" SHe said plainly as Jack handed her the papers. She skimmed through them quickly as Jack and Danielle waited anxiously. "You in a hurry or something or are you just on meth?"

"No, we're just excited. My little girl is finally going to be a Fenton." Jack squealed as he rubbed playfully on Danielle's head.

"Wait, Fenton? As in -- _The _Fentons who have no friends and spend all of their time hunting ghosts like some loser people?"

"That's right--wait, what?"

"Wait here." The lady left her booth and went into another room for reasons unknown, even before Jack could finish. Jack and Danielle waited anxiously for her return, because A) they wanted to get out of there as soon as possible, and B) because they had no idea what she was talking about earlier.

Finally, after about a half hour, the lady did return, and she brought with her some security guards. Jack and Danielle were confused by this. "OK, here they are."

"Um, who are these people?" Jack asked before, without warning, he and Danielle were picked up and thrown out hard. As the doors shut behind them to the courthouse, they both looked at each other exchanging confused glances. I mean, wouldn't you if you were just thrown out of a courthouse for no reason? No? Really, no? O-OK. OK. Nevermind, then.

"Dad, what just happened?" Danielle asked his distraught and confused father.

"I-I'm not really sure, hon. But I don't exactly think you were just adopted. Wow, this is awkward. This is like when you're trying to upload a video onto the internet and it takes forever."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Danny sitting at his computer, trying to upload a video project for his English Class._

_"And now to send this video so I don't have to hear it from Mr. Lancer tomorrow." Danny said triumphately, as he prepared himself to send the video he made for his English project that was due the following day. He pressed the button, and watched as the screen slowly uploaded the video._

_"Now processing video upload. 1%."_

_"Yes!" Danny cheered._

_"0%!"_

_"Darn!" He slapped his head in anger and frustration as things continued to worsen._

_"-1%."_

_"F#ck!"_

_(End Cutaway)_

* * *

And speaking of our little ghost boy, he was making his way to the mall to return a crappy video game he bought the other day. He stormed into the Amity Park mall and headed towards the video game store, Gamestop, and then marched towards the guy at the counter.

"Hey!" He said to get the guy's attention. He was reading a newspaper when Danny walked in, so he put it down casually and stared him down.

"S'up?"

"S'up? I'll tell you!" He slammed the video game onto the counter. "I asked for 'Guitar Hero: World Tour", and you gave me "Heroin Hero"! What the f#ck is that about!?"

"Look, you asked for a "Hero" game, and Heroin Hero is a Hero game. I mean, you shoot yourself with drugs and chase a dragon."

"You never _catch_ it, though! You just keep running around in a motherf#ckin' circle shooting yourself up! It's not even rated M for mature! It's rated E for everyone!"

"I don't know, buddy. That's all I got."

"Ugh! I am never shopping here again!" He threw the game into the store clerk's face, and then marched out of their angrily. "Stupid store clerk. What the hell was he thinking!?" He kept mumbling this to hmimself as he stormed out and towards the middle of the mall. "I mean, what's a guy gotta do to get a freakin' video game around here!? I mean, really--" Danny spent most of his time mumbling as he started heading off in another direction. He had no idea where he was going or what he was getting into when he realized that he had walked all the way towards the in-mall bank.

He was stopped and snapped out of his trance by Joe Swanson as other policemen were patrolling the outsides of the store, making sure that no one would sneak in and try to rob it...which is exactly what had happened here.

"Robbed?" Danny asked the policeman at the scene. "What do you mean robbed?"

"Someone broke into the bank last night and stole all the money in the bank. Plus, they trashed the place a little bit."

"Who would want to do something like that?"

"I don't know. Boy, there hasn't been a bank robbery this horrifying since that time that tough guy came in and tried to intimidate our Asian cashier."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to the same bank where a big, tough boxer comes in carrying a gun. He doesn't use the gun right away though. First, he calmly walks up to the Asian guy at the counter holding a check._

_"Hey you." He calls out in a loud but not intimidating voice. He hands the Asian guy the check. "I'd like to make a deposit."_

_The guy studies the check for a long moment, and then says "I'm sorry, but this check is invalid."_

_"What?"_

_"This check has the 2007 design on it. The one with the little kittnes on it. It's 2009, which means now we only accept the checks that have the little monkeys on them. You know, the ones that throw feces at each other. OH it's so cute."_

_The boxer held up his gun to the Asian cashier. "I said 'I'd like to make a deposit'!"_

_"And I'm saying that you can't. You're check is invalid."_

_"Say that again!!" The boxer loaded his gun this time and prepared to shoot the cashier. _

_Not being afraid, the Asian man stood firm in his position and crossed his arns. "Sir, your check is invalid." THe Asian guy said calmly as the boxer grew angrier, but eventually admitted defeated, muttering "Okay" sadly before turning around and walking away._

_(End Cutaway)_

Another one of the police officers came rushing out of the building holding up what appeared to be a gray hair. He was followed by two more. "Hey Joe, look at this." He showed him the gray hair. "A gray hair. You know, like those ghosts things have."

"Uh huh..."

"And I'm not talking about Chuck Norris or your mother this time."

"Oh...yeah, well I guess it could be one of those ghost things that did this. But we won't know for sure until we do some more testing." The two policemen were discussing over who could be responsible for this mysterious robbery when a Hungarian goth boy with black shades and white hair entered the scene.

"Why bother? Isn't it obvious who did it?" The boy named Elliot hissed as he took one glance at Danny, and smirked. "It's that bloody damn ghost boy, Danny Phantom!"

"What!?" All three of them shouted.

Elliot, Sam Manson's old boyfriend, was probably the only guy who didn't know about Danny's secret, and now he was back in town looking for revenge against Danny for breaking the two of them up.

"Yeah, I saw him. Last night, it was very dark and it was a faint light, but I saw him. Him and his little beatie green eyes of his, broke into the bank and stole all the money in the bank. I tell you it was horrible."

"It must've been. It happened at around 8:30 last night, because the laser lights were on and all but the back emergency exit were closed down and locked up."

"Oh but that boy is a clever one. He must've used his invisibility to sneak in and steal all of th emoney. I'm telling you, by now, he must have a new plasma screen TV or a big mansion in Maui."

"Well that's kind of hard to do with just $1,500." One of the policemen said.

"Of all the horrible and inconceivable thi--wait, what?"

"Yeah, he only stole about $1,500 in $1 bills."

"Wh-Wh-WHat?"

"How's that even possible?" Danny asked, also confused.

"The bank's filled with only $1 bills." Joe explained. "Yep. Deposits: only $1 bills. Checks: $1 bills. Everything in this banks has to do with a $1 bill."

"So...the bank carries only $1 bills? No $5, $10, or even $50 bills?"

"Nope. Our mayor passed that law last month."

"The mayor's a 14 year old black techno geek. Seriously, that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Though that would explain why my deposit was rejected last week."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Danny walking up to one of the booths in the bank, ready to make a deposit. He takes out a $50 bill and puts it down on the counter._

_"Yeah, I'd like to make a deposit." He said as the cashier behind the counter took one good look at the bill, and then threw an apple at Danny. "Ow! What the hell, man?"_

_"It's the law sir."_

_(End Cutaway)_

* * *

Meanwhile, across town, Peter was busy trying to fix the statue of Danny Phantom that he broke. He was taken to court earlier that day and even though the judge knew him all too well, it was still pointed out that Peter had no intentions of destroying the statue of purpose.

So as punishment, Peter was senteneced to just fifty hours of community service fixing what he broke. He was busy with the globe that Danny holds when Lois walked into the scene. "Peter, what are you doing?" She yelled to him.

"Fixing the statue that I broke earlier!" He yelled back as he climbed down to the ground.

"Well, why? Since when do you care about other people's property?"

"Uh, it's called 'Community Service' smartass. As in service that gives back to the town."

"So in otherwords you were convicted but not to the extent in which you go to prison?"

"Exactly. They gave me fifty hours to fix this statue up and I don't want to go back to prison, so I'm just gonna fix this up and then we can get our of here." He turned back tot he statue and made his way back up tot he globe. He started putting pieces back in their places and hammering them. But as he did not have nails with him the pieces did not stay. And because they were not staying, Peter was growing more and more frustrated...to the point where he hammered once so hard it actually cracked the left side of the statue, and after that the left side started falling to the ground. It fell so as though it landed on its side yet it still remained in one piece. "Son of a bitch! Now I gotta fix that too!" He climbed down back to his wife.

"Oh cheer up, Peter. I'm sure it won't be that bad. Before you know it, the fifty hours will be over before you know it."

"Oh I know it will, honey. That's because I have one secret weapons on me that I didn't have before." Peter replied taking out a vile of pills and handing it to Lois.

"Peter, what are these?"

"Oh yeah, see, before we left South Park, I snuck into a CIA headquarter's building and took these pills. When you eat one, it makes you feel like you had just had an 8 hour sleep."

"Well, these do sound very pro--wait, did you say you snuck into a CIA building and stole them?"

"Yes. Yes I did."

"Ugh! Peter, why is it that every time you try to do something good you screw it up by doing something bad?"

"It's not bad, Lois. THese pills help me stay awake. This way I'll be able to work the fifty hours straight and then we can get out of here."

"But you stole them from a government agency! You could get in big trouble!"

"Relax, I'm sure nobody even realizes that they're missing."

* * *

The sad fact was that Peter was so wrong. Over in Langley Falls Virginia, at a CIA headquarters building, the CIA agents there were hard at work, except for one, Dick Reynolds, who was very worried about something, so he went up to his co-worker, Stan Smith, for advice.

"Hey Stan, have you seen my pills?" He asked him.

"Your pills?"

"Yeah, you know, the ones that help you stay awake."

"Oh_ those_ pills. No, I haven't seen them. I thought you got rid of them."

"No it was just the ones that were giving me explosive diarrhea."

"Well, where did you see them last?"

"On my desk. I put them down to go to the bathroom and when I came back they were gone."

"Huh. You know, now that you mention it, I did see that the back down exit, the one that's decorated to look like that passageway to Narnia, was open. Maybe somebody used it."

"That's impossible, Stan. That door always remains closed, and no CIA agent is able to get in or out of it."

"Then that means someone from the outside must've broken in and stole them. But who do we know that would want to steal pills that help you stay awake at night?"

"Maybe it's some fat dude who has to do community service for a city for something he did. YOu know, hypothetically, of course."

"Dick, that is _the_ dumbest thing you have ever said. Why would some fat guy want those kinds of pills? Everybody knows that fat people don't have lives of their own."

* * *

Meanwhile, back in Amity Park, Danny Fenton's girlfriend, goth Sam Manson, was busy watching TV, and had no idea that Danny was being framed for such a crisis. SHe was just watching invofmercials.

"_Crudely-Painted Not-So-Funny Plywood Cut Out Folk Art! Crudely-Painted Not-So-Funny Plywood Cut Out Folk Art! Crudely-Painted Not-So-Funny Plywood Cut Out Folk Art!"_

_"Hi, I'm Al Harrington from Al Harrington's 'Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube-Man' Emporium and Warehouse'! As an unwanted result from a recent lawsuit, I am now in posession of hundreds of palettes of Crudely-Painted No-So-Funny Plywood Cut Out Folk Art! and it's just  
waiting to transform your uncut, trash-strewn lawn into a living canvas that tells passers-by, "Hey, everyone, a real funny bugler lives here." Your neighbors will chuckle warmly, and motorists will slow down and applaud when they cast their eyes on such favorites as...Sort-of Ben and Jerry's-Looking Cow, Black Silhouetted Cowboy Leaning on Barn and everybody's favorite, Fat Woman Bending Over Tending to her Garden in Big, Polka-Dotted Bloomers. Most of this stuff is price to move and until it does, it's an enormous fire hazard, so please, come see me, on Route 2 in Weekapaug!"_

Just then the TV screen switched scenes to the newsroom, where they were about to play the story of the bank robbery.

"We interrupt this program to bring you breaking news. The Amity Park First National Bank located in the Amity Park Mega-Mall has been robbed. Reports are coming in that whoever is responsible has stolen about $1,500 in $1 bills." There was a short pause. "We now go live to Asian reporter Trisha Takanawa for more news. Trisha?"

"Thanks, Tom." The TV screen switched to Trisah standing just outside of the mall. "I'm standing outside of the mall where some felon has just robbed the Amity Park First National Bank." A nearby police officer came walking in. "Sir, who do you think could be responsible for this?"

"Well we don't have any leads at the moment, but whoever did it is obviously one sneaky son of a bitch! None of our alarms went off and none of the windows appear to have been broken."

"Thank you. Now, one of our witnesses, a child bisexual who goes by the name of 'Elliot', claims to know who is responsible for it. When I interviewed him, he requested that I not show his face or run the audio, but he did release this statement for me." She held up a piece of paper. "'It was that motherf#ckin' ghost hero everybody worships. He is a f#cking menace to society, and he ate my last Wanton that I got last week at that Chinese restaurant that's run by that midget. I was saving that for my father-in-law's funeral.' Back to you, Tom."

"Thank you, Trisha. Not much is currently known about this case other than that noen of the doors or windows were tampered with, and that $1,5000 weer stolen. When asked about what he saw, this eye witness had this to say:"

The scene swtiched to a pre-recorded interview of another eye witness.

"I was about to bone my girlfriend when I saw this guy walk through the door through the mall and then towards the mall, where he climbed in the back down and came out with all of the money. It was wicked. I couldn't see his face because it was so dark but it looked liek that ghost boy, and then I thought 'That's impossible! Jews can't commit crimes!' And then I went back to boning my girlfriend, but her naval was bleeding like crazy and she said there was no way."

Back to the news studio...

"If anyone has any information regarding this case, please call your local police station. We'll keep you updated as new details develope. Coming up, a man who claims that by breathing through his mouth, he enlarged his testicles. After this."

Sam shut off the TV, and had a moment to herself, thinking that there was no way Danny would ever commit a crime.

"There's no way Danny would ever commit a crime like that. No way, he's better than that. It's that jackass Elliot that's framing hiM! Damn, first he tries to ruin my friendship with him, and then he tries to get him framed! Ugh! That's just typical!"

Just then, the two Vaudeville men, Vern and Johnny, came into the scene having apparently snuck into Sam's room without anyone noticing.

"I'll tell you what's typical. Those people who work for the damn media! They're always stretching the truth. Take yesterday, for example. They said that Susan Boyle was lashing out to her friends & family because they were bitching to her about how bad she was. But really, the police had busted in on her and she was lashing out to them. What's the world coming to anyway? All I know is, it's great that I'm not gay! Play me out, Johnny!"

Vern's partner, Johnny, started playing his piano as Vern started dancing around like some kind of drug-induced idiot. Sam, disgusted with this, got up from her bed and walked out.

**End of Chapter 2!**

**Yes, I know the ending seems rushed. But, I got it out before the deadline! So great!**

**Next Time: Peter tries to keep himself from breaking anything else while he fixes the statue, Jack races around town trying to get Danielle adopted, and Danny enlists Brian's help to clear his name!**

**Expected Update: June 27th.**


	3. Well, There's Cable

**Family Guy's Extra Special Road Trip (Season 1)**

**Episode 4: Road to Ghost Hell**

**Chapter 3: Well, There's Cable...**

**Disclaimer: _Danny Phantom _and_ Family Guy _do not belong to me. They belong to _Butch Hartman _and _Seth MacFarlane_ respectively.**

**TV-PG-DL (Rated T on the site)**

* * *

"Dialogue"

_'Thoughts', __Long-distance conversations (such as on the phone), song lyrics, or cutaways/flashbacks_

**_"Voice-overs, either from a flashback in present time, or from present time during a Flashback."_**

* * *

Over at Danny's house, Danny and Brian had just finished watching the news, where they had just played the story about the bank robbery. Danny was being framed, and he and Brian both knew it.

"Can you believe this!?" Danny shouted in rage to Brian. "They think I'm the one that did it! That idiot Elliot is ruining my reputation. First he tries to steal Sam, and then he tries to frame me!?"

"Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. If it happened last night, then it couldn't have been you. I mean, we were all together having dinner. You saw what Peter did last night."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to the Fenton's home, where everyone, including the Griffin family, are having dinner. Peter is really enjoying his more than anything, and no one is able to figure out why._

_"Peter, you really seem to be enjoying your food." Lois notices._

_"I sure am, Lois. This is the best chicken I've ever had! Hey, hey, guys. Watch what happens when I light it on fire!" He shouted as he pulled out a lighter, picked up his piece of chicken, and then lit it on fire. Sadly though when he lit his piece of chicken on fire, he was holding it, which meant that his arm soon went on fire, and then eventually his entire body went on fire. Burning and in pain, Peters tood up and started running hysterically towards the front door, only to then run into the streets and then get hit by an oncoming bus._

_(End Cutaway)_

Danny, frustrated and angry, stormed out of his house, with Brian following closely behind. "I can't believe my reputation is about to be destroyed just because some French jackass from Hungary is out for revenge against me! I've worked too hard to get this city's respect! There's gotta be a way to prove my innocence!"

"Well, wait a minute. Maybe that's the answer." Brian said to Danny, who took interest to this. "If the police can't figure out who robbed the bank, maybe we can."

"Oh come on, if those idiots can't figure it out, how do you suppose _we _can?"

"Uh, I'm a talking dog who drinks martinis and you're a half ghost kid who's dating a goth lesbian. This is probably the best that this town's gonna get to a real police force. Besides, bank robbers are generally very stupid. There's probably all sorts of evidence hidden in there that the police are too retarded to see."

"Awesome! And you'll seriously help me?"

"Of course. If there's one thing I hate it's when innocent people are framed and convicted and when guilty people are not. Besides, this'll give me a little bit of time away from Peter. He's become insufferable lately. His antics are worse than that 40's sitcom with the retarded cat. Hey, did you know Peter actually considered the word 'Penis' to name his son?"

_(Cue Flashback)_

_We flashback/cutaway to about 6 years ago, where Lois is 35, Peter is 37, Meg is 12, and Chris is 8 (remember, Brian wsn't taken from the streets until about 4 years later, and Stewie isn't even born at this time)._

_Lois opens up a letter and realizes it is Chris's school report card. She appears angry at the sight of it, but it is not necessarily his grades that bother her. "Peter, Chris, could you come down here for a second!" She calls as Chris and Peter walk into the kitchen casually. "Can you explain this?"_

_"Mom, you know that English is my worst subject, and we even got a tutor! But I get so stressed during a test. You know, I get sweaty, anxiety, erections--"_

_"Chris, Chris, honey, honey, I'm not talking about that. I was talking to your father." She turns to her idiot husband. "Peter, can you explain why Chris's report card says 'Penis' Griffin?"_

_"'Penis' Gr--oh, AHAHAHA! Oh my god! T-They fell--They fell for it!" All of a sudden, Peter started laughing hysterically. Apparently, Peter had played a trick on Chris's school and now he is referred to as 'Penis' by everyone, even the teachers. "Those bastards fell for it!!"_

_"Fell for what? What are you talking about!?"_

_"OK, Lois, remember when we went in for that parent teacher conference?"_

_"Uh huh..."_

_"Well, after you left the room, I convinced the principal that the reason Chris beat the crap out of that little Jewish kid was because he was upset about the fact that I had changed his name to 'Penis'. Yeah, and those morons bought it! AHAHAHAHA! What a bunch of jackasses!"_

_"You're the jackass, Peter! Do you know how serious this is!? He could be the butt of everyone's joke from now until college!"_

_"Don't worry, Lois. It was just this school. And it's not like I put it in to have his named legally cha--" But then he stopped in mid-sentence, realizing that he had indeed put in for Chris's name to be legally changed to 'Penis'. Lois, knowing exactly why Peter stopped, left the room in total disgust, leaving a disoriented Peter and a confused out of his mind Chris left in the room._

_(End Cutaway)_

* * *

And speaking of Peter Griffin, he was still working on the statue that he broke. But four hours in, and he wasn't anywhere close to being finished. No seriously, he wasn't. He had 46 hours to go, and by that time the statue had to be completely fixed. Peter wasn't doing any of that.

He even had to resort to using a crane just to pick up the piece he broke earlier.

"OK, a l-a-a little to the left! That's right!" Peter was guiding the guy operating the crane so that he wouldn't screw up. Unfortunately, it was already screwed when Peter hired a drunk guy to operate it.

"Wait, my left or your left?"

"Hang on!" Peter ran so he was facing the same direction the crane was. "Your left! Go! Go!" The guy slowly headed towards the other part of the statue that was standing up so he could put it in its place.

Once it was safely close enough to its other half, Peter took out a giant tube of glue, and started spraying it to glue the two pieces back together. It took approximately 40 minutes to glue both pieces back together but once it was done, Peter couldn't have felt more relieved. He had to take one of those pills he stole because he was so worn out.

"Well Felipe, we did it!" Peter shouted to the crane operator. "Nice job! Here!" Peter took out a beer can and threw it to the crane operator, whom gladly opened it and drank half of it down. But, when he set it down on his control panel, he accidentally his steering level back, and back enough to drive him at full speed into the building behind him. The building was pretty much abandoned...except of course for the manager of the building, whom was crushed to death by the falling debree. "Oh come on! You mean I gotta fix that too!?"

Peter groaned, cupped his eyebrows, and then took out some of the pills and ate them. "Boy, I haven't been this stressed out since I had to make that big skateboarding jump."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Peter and Cleveland in Hawaii, where they are on top of a really tall hotel. They are not too far across from the other hotel, and the only thing blocking their way is the police helicopter._

_"Peter, are you sure about this?" Cleveland asked Peter, who was thinking off jumping off the ramp at the end of the building, and doing a McTwist over the helicopter down to the next building._

_"Todd said he wanted something big. This is it. Keep the camera tolling, no matter what." He calmly said to Peter as he readied himself. Then after a moment, he pushed off the ground a few times to gain speed towards the ramp, and when he got to the edge of the ramp...he attempted to jump. And the reason why I said he "attempted" to jump was because instead of gaining air and being able to pull off a McTwist, he instead broke his board in half at the edge of the ramp, and fell towards the Helicopter's propeller, screaming his head off. The result was that his body got shreded and his blood went everywehre, even on CLeveland's face._

_"That's nasty."_

_(End Cutaway)_

* * *

Later that night, while everyone else was asleep in their beds, Danny, Brian, and Stewie were up and working, trying to crack the case of who robbed the bank.

"You realize that if Lois finds out we're gone, we could be in trouble, right?" Stewie reminded Brian.

"That's a chance I'm willing to take. Besides, she doesn't really understand this kind of law stuff."

"Yeah, she didn't get why that Florida drug-induced mother was convicted or murder in the first degree. (**Casey Anthony**) Lois is an idiot when it comes to this stuff. An even bigger idiot than Peter is when it comes to medical stuff."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to Peter in a recovery room where he had just finished performing a 13-hour heart transplant for a 54 year old diabetic. The patient was just waking up and Peter was about to give him the news._

_"Hey, hey Sean. Sean! Wakey Wakey!" Peter said in a loud whisper as the patient began to open his eyes. "There you go. Well hello there, little bugger. You were very brave in there and the operation was a success."_

_"It was? Oh. Oh I'm so happy--"_

_"Which brings me to the bad news. Um, Sean, I'm not exactly sure how to tell you this. But...during the surgery, I made a miscalculation and I accidentally replaced your heart with 40 pounds of dynamite. Which means you have about 3 seconds to live."_

_"What!? YOU SON OF A BIT--" Was all the man had time to say before his "heart" exploded, leaving him headless, covered in blood, and dead. He plopped back onto his pillow lifeless, as Peter stood there in horror for a brief moment. Then, he checked his watched for the time. "Well, that's it. May 17th, 2007. 3:58 pm, I'm calling it!" And with that, he walked out of the room._

_(End Cutaway)_

"Anyway..." Danny reverted back to the original subject. "So...what exactly do we know?"

"Alright, based on the information given out by the police..." Brian went up to the whiteboard and pulled down a map of the mall, including the bank, and all of its exits, and all that junk. "Whoever commited this crime did it at around 8:30 last night. Now, the laser lights that activate the bank's alarms were on, and both of the emergency exits in the bank were both closed, but there were also no signs of ectoplasmic resedo. So, your ghostly enemies are out of the question."

"Oh wait, that reminds me." Stewie cut in. "I did some internal investigating earlier today, and I found that the Northwest emergency exit, this one right here," He went up to the map and pointed to the exit on the left side. "Was tampered with. The two locks that were located on the outside of the door were both broken, so someone obviously broke in through there."

"So it was obviously one of us..." By "one of us", Danny was referring to the human race.

"And do yo know what else I found out?" Stewie went back to his laptop. "I looked further into this case and it turns out that the media is once again stretching the truth."

"What do you mean?" Danny asked.

"Well, whoever commited this hanous crime didn't actually steal the money when they broke in. It turns out that whoever did it used someone else's credit card to get $1,500 in $1 bills. But that's why the cops are saying that they stole it. It was a case of credit card fraud."

"But then what does that have to do with the back door being unlocked?"

"Well the place _was _trashed, right?..."

"OH yeah, yeah, right. You know what, now that you mention it, I woke up a few days ago and my room was totally trashed. But the only thing missing was my new credit card."

"New credit card?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, my dad said I was getting older and needed to learn the value of a dollar, so he opened up an account for me. And I haven't even touched it since. Then again, that _was_ only a week ago, but still..."

"So your credit card went missing?"

"Yeah."

"Then whoever broke into your room and stole it must be the same guy who stole money from your account and trashed the bank." Stewie commented.

"So if we can find your credit card, we may be able to figure out who robbed you and tried to frame you for stealing money...from your own account..."

"Man, I gotta hand it to you guys. Everywhere we go, the poeple just seem to get more and more stupid. I'm serious." Stewie said casually. "Why would you try to frame someone from stealing money from their own bank account?"

"Well, that's not what the police think." Danny commented, taking out his credit card and handing it to Brian. "I found my credit card earlier today on the streets. A homeless guy almost mistook it for a piece of cheese."

Brian studied the card for a moment and then realized that it was tampered with as well. "Oh my god, he changed the serial number and the picture."

"Yeah! He tried to make it seem like I was stealing money from other people's accounts! Boy, this guy is good!"

"Yeah, apparently, he's been hacking into the main database of the bank and changing the serial numbers of everyone's account so it seems like you've been stealing money from everyone else." Stewie commented, stilll on his laptop. "Now the only question is...who did it?"

The phone next to Stewie started ringing, and Stewie anwered it before the 2nd one. "Talk to me. Uh-huh. Huh? You don't say? You do? Awesome! When can I have it!?" A video tape poorly wrapped in brown paper sudden dropped on Stewie's head. "Wow, tahat's fast. OK thanks." He hung up the phone. "Chris says he found a security tape that shows the guy who did it." Stewie opened the package which revealed the tape, and handed it to Brian.

"But if I know bank robberies..." Brian began. "...and unfortunately, I do..."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to the Quahog bank where Peter Griffin and Brian Griffin enter and approach a desk. Peter is dressed in a Hitler costume while Brian's hair is dyed brown._

_"Uh hi, my name is Adolf Hitler. I started the Holocaust because the Jews are repulsive and retarded. This is my dog. His name is negro." Peter explained to the guy at the desk, as he showed him Brian._

_"You know, it's bad enough you drag me into a bank roberry, but did you have to cover me in your poop?"_

_"Negro, SHUT UP! Anyway, I heard that you were a Jew and if you don't give me all of your money I'll blow your brains out."_

_(End Cutaway)_

"...then the guy will probably be wearing some sort of disguise to conceal his face."

"Well let's take a look at the tape, anyway." Stewie said as they turned on their TV and put to the tape in. The tape showed a guy in Danny's clothes, with Danny's hairstyle, walking into the bank, pulling out a credit card, and taking some money as he left the bank.

"That looks so much like you!" Brian pointed out.

"Yeah, but it's not! I'm not a crook! Elliot is trying to convince people that I am, but someone is doing his dirty work, I just know it."

"Can I see your credit card?" Stewie asked after a brief moment of silence. Danny agreed and handed Stewie his card. The baby genius took it over to a machine he had set up, and placed the card on it. THe machine started beeping, making noise, lighting up like crazy, and at first Brian and Danny thoguht it was a bad sign, but their worries were relieved when it ended a moment later, and a piece of paper rolled out. Stewie took the paper and studied it for a moment. "Um, what was the name of that guy who you think is trying to frame you again?"

"Um...Elliot Corvlakia?"

"Yeah...I thought so." Was his only response as he turned the paper around as it revealed the words "Elliot Corvlakia" in big, black ink. Danny was not moved by thsi, as he deeply suspected him all along.

"Dammit, I knew that jackass was out to get me!" He shouted in rage.

"So now we have DNA ferenzics, a security tape, a busted door, and a misused credit card. Ya think that's enough to bust this guy?"

"It would, except for the fact that ever since Barack Obama was elected president, our police force has dumbed down a it. They'll never go for this science fiction crap. I mean, that's whyy they created NCIS." Brian commented.

"Yeah, you're probably right. So then what do you suppose we do?"

"We have to set up a trap for this guy. Obviously, he's gonna try this again, so we have to be ready. This could be our only chance to get this guy, so let's make it count. I've missed out on too many opportunities already!" Brian waited for a moment, hoping for a cutaway to appear, but none did.

"Like...what?"

"I don't know, This is usually the part where the cutaway begins."

"You know we've been using them a lot lately. I'm surprised we still have some left."

**End of Chapter 3!**

**Wow! One day! Well, this chapter I had a lot more fun writing than the last one. That's why it was so hard coming up with material for the last one.**

**Next Time: Does Peter every finish rebuilding thes tatue and fixing the stuff he broke? Will Jack ever get Danielle officially adopted? Will Eilliot be caught and brough to justice? Wil Seth MacFarlane ever log onto this website and read my stories? **

**Expected Update: June 27th.**


	4. The Government Sucks, Simple as That!

**Family Guy's Extra Special Road Trip (Season 1)**

**Episode 4: Road to Ghost Hell**

**Chapter 4: The Government Sucks, It's as Simple as That!**

**Disclaimer: _Danny Phantom _and_ Family Guy _do not belong to me. They belong to _Butch Hartman _and _Seth MacFarlane_ respectively.**

**TV-PG-DL (Rated T on the site)**

* * *

"Dialogue"

_'Thoughts', __Long-distance conversations (such as on the phone), song lyrics, or cutaways/flashbacks_

**_"Voice-overs, either from a flashback in present time, or from present time during a Flashback."_**

* * *

The next day, downtown, Jack was still trying very hard to get Danielle's adoption papers finalized. But it seemed that everywhere he went, nobody would take him. He tried 5 different lawyers, all of them black, and none of them helped him. All they did was take his money, make him feel sad & depressed, and make things more complex for the entire family.

Jack was practically at his wit's end, considering that the last place that he went to was an old abandoned courthouse where the only guy there was a 67-year old Veteran that had just come back from Iraq, and he had also heard about the Fentons, and was not about to deal with them today.

"But please, sir, all you need to do is validate these papers!" Jack said desperately, trying to show the man his papers. The man was scared for his life for no reason at all, though he may have been suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome. "Look, I'm desperate."

"Get away from me man! I've seen things. Things I've seen!"

"I'm desperate! I've been all around town for 2 days, and no one's helped me! Look, I-I'll even give you this!" Jack reached into his jumpsuit and pulled out a T-shirt that said 'I became friends with Jack Fenton and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.'

"Get away! Get the f#ck away, man!" The 67-year old veteran shouted as he pulled out a gun and aimed it at Jack and Danielle. The two immediately took off out the door as the veteran started shooting.

Frustrated and defeated, the two took a nearby bench and decided to stop for a while and just remenise...about stuff. Well, I don't know, I'm not gay!

"Man, I didn't think trying to make you a Fenton would be so hard." Jack commented as they both looked up and stared at the passing clouds. "All I was trying to do was make you a part of this family, and so far we've been thrown out of a courthouse, tazered, assaulted, shot, and...in my case, raped."

"Why do people have to be so hostle to us?" Danielle asked the curious father.

"I don't know Danielle. Sometimes, the world just doesn't like you. You know, sometimes things happen that you don't approve of but are completely out of your control."

"Oh he's right, we've all been there." Said a man, who turned out to be Carter Pewterschmidt, as he was passing by and overhearing Jack and Danielle's conversation. He took the empty seat next to them. "Believe me, I know what that feels like."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, my daughter married this fat guy whom I didn't like. I tried to bribe him with $1,000,000 to not marry her and he turned it down. And then I tried to offer my daughter $10,000,000 but even she turned that down. Don't exactly know why."

"Um...OK..."

"OH, and there was also this other time when I gave him money to publish his own erotic book, but instead I end up getting a lawsuit handed to me, losing all of my money."

"Uh...what does that have to do wtih anything."

"I'm agreeing with you in the fact that the world is unfair and sometimes out of our control."

"Oh. Oh yeah, right."

"Yep."

"You know, from the sound of your tone, it sounds like you despise your son."

"Well, I don't exactly despise him, persay. No, he's a good guy, he really is. It's just the things he do because he's retarded...they just don't sit well with me, especially since he could hurt my daughter."

"You dau--wait, does your son wear a white shirt, glasses, green pants, and a belt?"

"Yes."

"Does he drink Pawtucket Patriot Ale?"

"Yes."

"And he goes by the name of Peter Griffin?"

"Why yes. Yes he does. Wait, how did you know that? Do you know him?"

"Not on a personal note, if that's what you mean. No, he and his family just moved into our town 2 days ago. He broke one of the town statues and is now trying to fix it."

"You mean the one where that ghost child who saved us from that asteroid is holding the globe? OH yeah, I saw it. I saw Peter with a bunch of cranes trying to fix that and a bunch of other buildings. Boy, everything that guy does just gets my stomach in a knot." He held out his hand for Jack to take. "Carter Pewterschmidt."

"Jack Fenton." He gladly accepted.

"So, if you're so rich, what are you doing here at this old abandoned courthouse?" Danielle asked.

"Well I came here because I need to pick up my license papers. I just got my license revoked because I was driving while high."

_(Cue Cutaway)_

_We cutaway to the open road in Rhode Island, where Carter Pewterschmidt is driving and smoking marijuana. He passes by a speed limit sign that reads '60', and takes note of this._

_"Whoa, that...that si-that sign over there. You know, the one I just passed. It said...it said something. It said something but I couldn't read it because I was too busy..." He started chuckling. "...feelin' like a rock star."_

_(End Cutaway)_

"You know, in retrospect, it probably wasn't a good idea to keep all that marijuana in my trunk. I-I probably should've dumped it into that river I passed."

"Well just be careful in there. We were and that guy went all maniac on us."

"Who, Jaron? No, no, he's a good guy. He really is. He was three children, and he even gave up a kidney for his wife."

"Then why is he-"

"He came back from Iraq."

"Oh..."

"So what are you two doing here?"

"Well I've been trying all week to adopt Danielle so she can legally become a Fenton, but everywhere I've gone they've either kicked me out or physically harmed me. It's been awful!"

"Adoption?"

"Yeah." He handed Carter the adoption papers to look at.

"Hmm, well these don't look complicated, no, not at all. You know, I could have these finalized for you."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I can hire the best lawyers possible, and I could have this done in no time. In fact I could have them do it today and I can mail them to you tonight."

"Really? Wow, that would be great!"

"Awesome. Oh, and if you see Peter, tell him Carter has a message for him." Jack leaned in closely so Carter could whisper the message. But instead, Carter ended up yelling it in ager towards Peter. "_I WANT MY MOTHERF#CKING LAWNMOWER BACK!_" He leaned back. "I loaned it to him about a month ago and he promised he'd return it to me...a month ago. If he doesn't gvive it back, I'll be pissed. I paid $1,000 to have it covered in real gold."

* * *

Meanwhile, Danny, Brian, and Stewie were out by the Amity Park First National Bank, having just put the finishing touches on their sinister plan to catch Elliot for the fraud he is. Stewie had set up a video tape in the security camera, Jazz was going to play one of the accountants that works there, Danny was going to leave his credit card on the floor, and then go inside and tape the whole thing in case the security tape doesn't work, and Brian was going to stand guard outside to make sure that no one would intrude on their master plan.

Now, the day before, Elliot had changed the serial numbers on both the database and the credit card so Danny's account would continually fill with money for Elliot to take. But, last night, Stewie had cleverly changed the serial number on the card so it wouldn't match the one in the database. That way, Elliot would be forced to reveal his plan.

Danny used his invisibility to leave the card just out in the open near the bank, and then went inside and set up his camera to record the whole thing. This way, no matter what, they would have at least two tapes of evidence to use against Elliot, even if one ended up not working.

Soon, Elliot came by, dressed so as to look almost identical to Danny Fenton. (Except for the fact that his hair color was white. That was fatal mistake number 1) He saw the card on the floor, and even though it was face-up, payed no attention to the serial number on it. So he picked it up and then went insie, cueing Brian to take his place outside the store and prevent anyone from going in. Of course, in retrospect, it might not have been the best idea to have Brian stand guard outside. After all, he is a dog, and not that many people in Amity Park take dogs seriously anymore.

Anyway, Elliot slowly entered the bank, and took a quick look around, trying to see if anyone was onto him. Danny was hiding behind one of the many large plants in the store, and for that matter, he was invisible, so there wasx no way in hell Elliot could see him. After getting that satisfaction, fake as it may be, he went up to the counter, where he was about to confront Jazz, once again, without knowing it.

"Welcome to the Amity Park First National Bank. How can I help you?" She said in a tone that made her sound like an accountant.

"Yes...I'd like to make a deposit." He slipped Jazz the credit card and as she took it, he had an evil grin on his face, which Danny was disgusted by. Jazz did some typing on the computer, though all she was really doing was opening up windows that told her that the serial numbers did not match. "I'm sorry, sir. But I'm afraid I cannot validate your withdrawl."

"What!? Why not!?" Elliot tried hard to keep his cool.

"It says here that the serial numbers on your credit card and here in the database don't match."

"What!? Let me see!" Jazz turned the screen so Elliot could see, and shcokingly enough, she was telling the truth. "Oh come on! How can that be!?" He realized he was getting angry, so he took a deep breath and calmled down. "I mean...how can that be? I-I got this years ago." That was fatal mistake number 2. "It's been the same ever since."

"And what does your card say?"

"4987." He read the card confidently, thinking he was right. But, he had changed it so many times he had actually forgotten the real serial number, which was fatal mistake number 3.

"Really? Well, I'll have to check the computer and see what I can do. Who knows...maybe it really is a computer error, unless, of course...maybe you're lying to me...and you're not really who you say you are!" Jazz shouted the last words as she took off her wig and revealed herself to Elliot, who still tried to make an attempt to cover himself up.

"Um....pudding?" He had a feeling his cover was about to be blown, and although he tried one more time to cover up, he knew he was about to be screwed,

"Dude, just give it up." Called Danny from the other side of the bank. Elliot turned around and saw him standing there. Before Danny closed the door, Brian and a police officer came in, and then Danny proceeded to close the door and lock it. "We all know it's you."

"Wait, what?" The police officer asked, completely convinced that Danny was guilty.

"Yeah. We figured out who's been framing me for the robbery."

"No, according to our evidence, you are the one that's guilty."

"And what kind of evidence is that?" Brian asked as the police officer handed Brian a piece of paper. He read it aloud. "Danny Fenton is guilty. Also, n#ggers are repulsive." Brian looked up at the police officer, and then gave him the finger. Stewie came into the picture holding papers and videotapes.

"Sir, we have ferenzics that prove that this Hungarian bastard was the one that stole Mr. Fenton's credit card, and used it to try and steal money from his and everyone else's account. It shows that the credit card has Elliot's DNA on it, along with the thousands of serial numbers he's changed for everyone else's accounts."

The police officer took the papers, not wanting to waste time. But as soon as he read them, he was astonished.

"Plus, the security tapes prove that he was the one who tripped the lock on the back door and trashed the place..."

"And that he was the one who changed the serial numbers and the pictures on my credit card to make it seem like I was stealing money from other people."

The police officer was truly astonished by what was being presented to him. He had truly convinced himself that Danny Fenton was guilty...and part of the reason was that he was douchebag. But once he saw all of this evidence, and then watched all three of the tapes Brian, Stewie, and Danny had shown him, he was now convinced that Elliot was truly guilty. Elliot was so pissed off he couldn't even put a sentence together. Then the officer walked over to Elliot and handcuffed him.

"Elliot Corvlakia, you are under arrest for the hanous crime of identity theft, infringment of justice, and vandalism. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you. You also have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be assigned to you. You also have the right to have your attorney present during any and all questioning." The police officer began to lead Elliot out of the door, but Danny stopped them before they could go.

"Um, aren't you forgetting something?" Danny asked, hoping for an apology. But unfortunately, the police officer was too gay and retarded to figure that out.

"Oh yes, of course." The police officer replied, making Danny think that the police officer had gotten the message. But he was shown up when the police officer pulled out a gun and shot himself in the head, letting go of Elliot, falling to the ground, and killing him. Danny, Brian, and Stewie were horrified, but not wanting to get in more trouble, Danny walked out of the room, with Brian and Stewie slowly following.

* * *

Later that night, after everything was said and done, everyone was curled up in the living room of the Griffins' new home, watching TV. They were playing the news story of Danny Fenton being found innocent. Elliot was punished and convicted of 18 charges of identity theft, infringment of justice, and vandalism, and was sentenced to 5-7 years to prison, with a chance of parole after 4 years.

"In local news, framed ghost hero Danny Fenton, who had been recently framed for trying to forge credit cards and illegally withdraw money from other people's accounts was found innocent of all charges earlier this afternoon. After setting up a steak-out with two helpers, foreign exchange student from Hungary Elliot Corvlakia was captured on tape and revealed to be the one doing the illegal withdrawals. Daniel claims that he had with him ferenzics of his credit card, video tapes, and a whole bunch of other stuff, that, for the life of me, I can't say on TV less I be fired. Here's an artist's rendition of what Daniel's two helpers might have looked like."

The screen switched to show a drawing of Danny's two helpers, Brian and Stewie, who were represented as Scooby Doo (Brian) and Scrappy Doo (Stewie). Brian and Stewie were both very pissed off, but they said nothing.

"The police officer who had originally believed that Daniel Fenton was guilty was going to aprehend the suspect, but when the boy stopped tem and demanded an apology, the officer shot himself in the head. But five minutes later paramedics arrived and resesitated the officer before aprehending him."

"Oh boy, Danny, I can't tell you how proud I am to see that you're getting into these kinds of things." Jack commented. "Pretty soon, you'll be getting into much bigger things like murders, rapes, and dreadful movie careers, like Robert Downy Jr."

"Thanks...I think..."

"Hey dad, that reminds me." Meg said, remembering about Peter's incident with the statue. "Didn't you say you broke not only the statue of this kid, but a hotel, someone's house, and half of City Hall?"

"_You left out Robert Downy Jr.'s movie career!_" Stewie yelled off screen.

"Yeah. So?"

"So, how did you get it done so fast?"

"Oh yeah, see, that's the beauty. I researched it online and I figured out that the only true way to get out of community service is to do something else so your previous criminal record can be erased."

"What exactly did you do, Peter?" A skeptical Lois asked, unsure what was about to happen. But as it is Peter, she knew that something bad was about to happen, and it did.

A distraught, hurt, and mortified Jazz walked into the room from the kitchen, with her clothes wrinkled, and her face dirty, sweaty, and filled with anger. Maddie and Jack stood up and ran to their daughter.

"Jazz, honey, what's the matter!?" Maddie shouted out, worried for her little girl. Just at that moment, two officers came following in behind her.

"T-T-That's him, officer!" Jazz barely got out, pointing to Peter. "That's the one who...who...who raped me." She let out several cries of hysteria, unable to control her emotions any longer. Everyone in the room except for Peter was horrified.

"_OH COME ON_!" Brian shouted, wishing that just for one stop, Peter wouldn't get arrested for anything more serious than vandalism. The officers approached Peter.

"Just come quietly, Mr. Griffin." One of them said as he slammed his stick into his hand. This, although it did not scare him, provoked him to stand up and attempt to jump out through the window. But unfortuantely, it was too small and Peter got lodged within it. The police officer then called the fire department for help while the rest of the family turned the TV to another channel, one that was playing the _'Crudely Painted Not-So-Funny Plywood Cutout Folkart'_ commercial.

**The End!**

**Wow! That was fun to write! I know I got this up really fast, but don't always expect me to update it at the exact day I say so. When I say "Expected UPdate", etc, it means that that's the aboslute last day I will post it. Meaning I'm giving myself until that day to finish the chapter and post it. So please be on constant look out for it. Anyway...**

**I just wanted to let you guys know that I truly appreciate all of the feedback all of my episodes are getting. They are truly more famous than I could have ever comprehended. But my next update will not be a "Family Guy'ss Road Trip" one. It will be the start of a story I've been working on for almost a year but never got around to posting. So be on the lookout for that in the Family Guy/Total Drama Island crossover category. But for the next episode...**

**On the next episode: If you thought Peter's imagination was running wild, then wait until he travels to the home where nothing but imagination is running wild!**

**I'll get the TDI/FG Crossover one up by probably June 26th the latest, and the next Family Guy's Road Trip episode by July 5th. Read & Review!**


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